Fresh emails

for anti-boring brands

Test and See the difference

  • Send emails your customers can't wait to read

  • Keep subscribers hooked and turn your list into an asset

  • Ditch designed-to-death emails and get your brand's voice back

Emails slacking?

What's up unconventional eCom brand owners,

If you already send fun emails…And you'd like your list to spend more, stay longer…Why not try something fresh?

The "Done Thing" & Why It Sucks

The way most brands think about email is totally transactional:Email about a product. Stuff it with features. Make it look pretty. Bolt on a discount.That’s pretty much it. Very little focus on much else.But it’s popular, why? Because it’s easy to churn 'em out... and it keeps sales at least ticking over.Sure, you can throw in a joke or two to "add some warmth".But that doesn't change the real problem:You're training people to treat your emails for what they are...Ads.And who wants an inbox full of ads?That’s a lot of pressure. Presure on you to keep a hot enough sale going to, y'know...Justify sending ads all the time.More emails wind up in spam. And over time, people start tuning you out because they know what they're getting -- and it ain't nuthin' new.Not ideal for business.Luckily, there’s another way.

“One of the best sales copywriters I've worked with in over 15 years in the industry. We’ve seen a big uptick in sales since adopting your punchy, humorous and direct tone."— David Harfield, Pepperstorm Media

How Antic Does Email

Antic is a one-man agency run by me, Joe Read.Here's a photo of me interviewing hip-hop legend, KRS-One.

KRS-One taught me about a concept he's known for...Edutainment: entertaining people while giving them something to think about.(That's why they called him The Teacha).I like that idea. And, as it turns out, it's a pretty damn good way to do email marketing.

The Difference Maker

If you’re on a few eCom lists, see how many emails check these boxes:

  • Their curious subject lines suck you right in

  • They use plain text to tell stories (with the odd photo)

  • They typically focus on ONE product

  • They're sent from the founder

  • Written in a chatty tone and peppered with casual humour

Few, I'll bet.And that’s because this is completely alien to, like, 97% of eCom brands.But this is what makes you stand out in that inbox.It IS a competition.And this is your edge.

So what do these emails actually talk about?

I might pull stuff from customer reviews, industry news, notes from your founder (if you like), and more.You can even weave in “behind-the-scenes” stuff – sagas, stories, mishaps and triumphs.At the end, a soft-sell to pitch your offer.Dead simple.Want to see the kind of thing you're getting? Just read these samples.If you think, “Yeah, I could use emails like these for my brand,” then let’s give it a punt.[Samples]Now, you might still be wondering.

What Makes 'Em Work Better?

Think about it like this:The whole point of your email list is to get people to click through to your sales pages.If they’re not opening and reading your emails, how are they going to do that?Easy.Turn your emails into a fun little experience.You become the brand who brightens their day.Now you don't need yet another discount or holiday in order to send an email.Could you still say if you pump out promotional flyer emails instead? Nope.I mean... Email is all about retention, right?That’s why these emails help you build relationships, rather than revenue alone (hat tip to Alin Dragu).Alright, let's wrap this up.

This is probably a good fit for you if:

  • You sell interesting, cool, kinda dumb or weird products (not that this particularly matters, just my preference).

  • Your brand already shows some personality and you like to have a laugh.

  • You know you should be sending more emails but aren't sure what to say.

  • Or you're emailing plenty, but the results are kinda meh.

  • Your emails tend to be heavily designed or mostly promotional, and you'd like to try something different.

  • You'd rather have something interesting to send than another discount.

This is probably NOT
a good fit for you if:

  • You're brand-safe to a sterile degree.

  • Your style is carved in stone and sounds nothing like me

  • You don't want customers to like you and spend more with you

  • Basically the opposite of all the other stuff

Ready to work together?

A good way is start is with a 4-pack of broadcast emails.You can simply A/B test them against your current emails and see the results for yourself.Details here.If not, no worries.We might as well stay in touch for when the time's right.So for now, join my list for daily stories and tips.Cheers,Joe

The Difference Maker

Give Your Emails
Some Guts

Details when you click.All copy delivered 10 business days after processing your post-purchase survey.

Welcome Flow

Broadcast Pack

5-Day Campaign

How It Works

(Sponsors also welcome — contact me to reach niche audiences).

"Joe’s ads have been killer out the gate. He gave a nice boost to our annual revenue and was great in getting everything sorted. We’re only just getting started, so every single customer counts. Your set up went above beyond and we're delighted with the results. Look forward to the next one.”– Harry Jones, NightBoss

“Joe conducted market research and supported us end-to-end. He is very attentive and approachable. We never had issues communicating with him, even after the successful delivery of the project when follow-up requests came out. We certainly hope to work with him again in the future."– Hristo G, Gaulport Capital

Get started today

Just fill out the form and I'll get back to you if I can help.Oh, and please be sure to include your:1. Subscriber count
2. Average open rate
3. Average click through rate

AboutI started this service for one simple reason:
Email is the last corner of the internet that isn’t owned by an algorithm — and it’s about to become the most valuable.Every platform is getting noisier, more regulated, more pay-to-play.
Every brand is fighting the same shrinking attention spans.
And yet… newsletters keep growing.
Why?
Because people actually choose to read them.That’s why I built this agency: to connect great newsletters with great brands — without the corporate fluff, bloated retainers, or “spray and pray” marketing that’s drowning the rest of the industry.My mission is simple:
Help independent creators earn what their audience is worth, and help brands reach real humans who actually care.

The Email Underground Bazaar

Join the list for access updates.

CART UN–UNABANDONER

3 cart abandon emails that bring lost customers back.£500 flat. Delivered in 3 days.

Email Copy

Do you want to bore your list to an early grave with AI slop and weak discounts?Then go almost anywhere but here.

But if you're the kind of business who wants a rocksteady relationship with their list...Who gets why raw copy beats sexy designs...And, most importantly, are not afraid of a little fun...Perhaps I can help.

Work with me

My name's Anthony and I'm an email copywriter.I'm helping a few select niches get direct and effective with their emails...Like self-reliance, privacy, hip-hop and more casual eCom brands.

If you need someone like me onside (and if we're a good fit), you can hire me for:

  • Broadcast emails -- Regular, entertaining, and useful stories

  • Sales campaigns -- with a living, breathing narrative behind them

  • Automation squences -- Fresh, original flows that work while you sleep

For more info, do the form -- I'll soon get back with some questions.

& How To Dodge It

Do you want to bore your list to an early grave with AI slop and weak discounts?Then go almost anywhere but here.Because that seems to be the done thing these days.I’m not here to convince you why that’s a dumb thing to do.If you already get why, and want to do something about it, here’s a good place to start:

1. Cancel your ChatGPT subscription
2. Remember how humans talk
3. Write your emails like that (but make it fun)
4. Add some copywriting sauce

And then what do you wind up with?

  • Regular, entertaining, episodic stories

  • Campaigns with a living, breathing narrative behind them

  • Fresh, original flows that work while you sleep

All done and dusted...

One Day Soon

Now, maybe you’d rather hire someone than go to the hassle yourself.Maybe, one day, that someone will be me (Anthony).So for now, while you make your mind up, why not join my list?After all, if corporate emails give you acid reflux… and you’d rather set your head on fire than send one out yourself…You’ll feel right at home.Once you’re in, you will get:

  • Violent teardowns of the most heinously boring emails

  • Email tips you won't find on a Mailchimp blog

  • Odd "insights" baked in odd stories

  • Chin-scratching ‘would-you-rathers’ (Irrelevent, yes. But I need an outlet)

  • The opportunity to join forces on your next email venture

If nothing else, you’ll get a kick out of it.And if you don’t even get that, you can always bounce.In any case, you can join the list here:

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